Serendipity Words

I was sitting here thinking. I know a foreign thing. But I realized that all my dreams I developed when I was 18 are no longer the same things I want in life. I started to question where I went wrong. Why couldn’t I get my bachelors while I was in the Navy? Why did I choose not to be a teacher? Why? Then it hit me out of nowhere. My dreams didn’t change. My life did. Different doors and possibilities were opened allowing new thoughts. But at the same time maybe I did hold myself back. I think we all hold ourselves back.

Planning the path to the dream is one of the major steps in achieving it. It seems like I have to just do ABC and it will bring me straight there. However, that’s not always the case. Sometimes we get so caught up in the what if that MIGHT occur that we end up stunting our own self from growth. What if I get there and it’s not what I thought it would be. What if I make a wrong turn and can’t find my way back to the path. What if this is just out of my mind unachievable. We spend so much time overthinking every possibility that we miss the neon signs in front of us. We become so focused on the roadblock in front of us during that path that we begin second guessing wether or not this is the right path. All of these situations lead us to lose hope and motivation for the goals we have set out.

Life twists us in ways we never believed would be beneficial to anything or anyone. We begin to get so consumed in the everyday that we forget about the overall picture. I literally mean that we get so focused and overtaken by the everyday routine that we forget our purpose. We wake up, drop the kids off at school or daycare, go to work, get the kids, cook dinner, shower, and then it’s bed time. We forget that we also need time for ourselves. We forget that we need to prioritize ourselves. So maybe sometimes it’s not so much that we can’t achieve our goals but simply that we forget about them.

However, there’s one thing that holds us back more than all of the other. I know it’s my biggest weakness. Fear. We fear failing. We fear letting everyone else down. We fear that nobody will be there to cheer you on. We fear life. We fear joy. Let that sink in for a second. We fear the one the thing that is meant to push up to do more and be more. We fear joy. I remember setting up a fun random event for my 28th birthday. I was so excited. I had these goals of it being fun and exciting and unforgettable. But I was so locked in my own fear that I almost canceled it. Thoughts of nobody was going to show up. Everyone who does will think it’s lame. I almost canceled my own birthday. When the day came and people actually showed up and still rave about it over a year later I question as to why I feared it so much!

So as I sit here thinking surely I can’t be alone in all of this, what are your goals. But better yet, what is holding you back?