Serendipity Words

Picture this. It’s been a long day. You get home and sit on the couch. You start scrolling Facebook and that one friend on there is bragging about how they went and got a new car today. The next post is someone else showing off their new outfit. The post following is the birth of a child or grandchild. We’ve all been there. We’ve all been excited at first, and then that excitement turns into judgment. Without even knowing it, the thoughts of well they only got that because they did XYZ. Thoughts like that child is going to have it rough when they grow up, their parents are not even together. Others like I bet that person only got the raise they’re claiming because they sucked up to their boss. All of this judgment is because they have something that you don’t. 

See society is a vicious thing. It forces you to compare and judge constantly. It pushes you to want the next best thing. It forces you to place tones with your words that make others question your character. But all that judgment does, in the end, is hurt you. Now that you’ve had to try and compete with someone to have the latest and coolest thing. What do you have to show for it? Do you have a high car loan? Do you have shoes that you can only wear once or twice because they don’t fit into your normal lifestyle? Or do you also have an attitude of greed and jealousy when you see someone with something that you think they don’t deserve? Do you see your selfishness transform into bitterness over something that you can not control? Do you see your character traits changing and eventually being passed down to others through your communication? 

We become so focused on this comparison and competition with each other that it begins to consume us. We let other people’s labels of us dictate our entire lives. Materialistically it’s easy to show up and show out. However, what are we actually learning about ourselves? I was a people pleaser. Let’s be honest 85% of the time I still am. I would rather sacrifice everything I have to ensure that nobody goes without something that they need. It’s great and all until I realized one major thing. I was pouring into everyone else’s cup while nobody poured into mine. 

I became so fixated on trying to compete with society that I never considered my own wants and needs. I didn’t want to be the best. I didn’t want to spend that much money. I didn’t want the title. I became so engulfed in what everyone thought of me and how I compared myself to them that I literally ran myself dry. It took me sitting on the edge of a cliff in Palo Duro State Canyon outside of Amarillo TX. I went to drive through and ended up sitting there for close to 6 hours. I met myself there for the first time. I realized that I was tired. I was tired of meeting all these other expectations. I wanted a chance to find myself and my own wants and needs. I learned that I could say no. 

Saying no came with a catch that I never predicted. It came with putting myself first. It came with pushback from people I thought were friends. It came failing and having to get back up over and over. It came with a whole lot of faith, some days overwhelming and others barely the size of a mustard seed. But the most important thing it came with is peace. Is that not something we all crave? Peace. It came with the ability to be able to say no and be ok with not meeting their needs. I would never say it was easy. I still struggle with it on a daily basis. But I have learned that the balancing of society and self is possible and that I have the ability to get the things I like and want because they are what I choose to want without competition. 

So is your character of judgment and jealousy more important to you than your own self and the character you want?